Misery and hope.
Another morning, same regretful feelings. Eyes still squeezed tightly, like I do not want to face it all again. Just don't want to wake up and do all that that I never wanted to do. Sleep is good. Pleasing! Everything feels so comforting and easy. Like a whole different world than where I actually exist. Like I own it. Like no one to judge me here. I can do whatever I want to. I love this place. Although I was lost, still, it felt good. Cold dark wood it was, could feel every bit of breath I take. I am just going deep into the woods, alone and curious. Dry leaves fallen on the ground, cracking through my feet, telling me that yes I was on the right path. Keep walking, someone or something is waiting for you on the other side. Even I can see a bright ray of light, coming from a far distance, calling my name and asking me to open the doors of my heart. Open it wide and let all that makes you feel low and sad, pour out of your heart and dry. Asking me to collect every single drop of last nights rain left on these green flourishing leaves and drink it all. The voice seems familiar, I know him. Couldn't recognise, but familiar. Suddenly banging gets louder. I looked back and there's a door. They came back, to take me back from my world to there's! I started running but got my foot stuck in outgrown roots and knocked out. Banging on the door gets louder now. I open my eyes, I was on the floor, must have fallen from my bed. There was no woods, leaves or any of those. My roommate knocking the door from outside and asking me to come out soon and drink some coffee he prepared. Shit! they actually pulled me out to here again. I got up and followed their rituals.
Reached office, sitting at my desk, noticing everybody but ignoring every one of them. Got an e-mail, subject in the capital - "MEETING IN 5!!!" already telling me that I was screwed! Behind that green door in the corner of the hallway, could see my manager preparing herself to rain over us all, or just me, I wasn't sure. Let's take a walk and think of some new excuse that I haven't made yet. nothing good I could think of.
I opened the door and let a part of myself enter the room. I stood outside, waiting for the other half to come out soon. He came out after a long, loud and single-voiced discussion. I could feel something unpleasant and unkind words been told to him so I hugged him tight and fused into him to complete him fully. And now I also know what all happened in there.
I came back to my desk, started doing "The Job Assigned to Me!" What a dislikable day, that's why I never wanted to wake up. Grabbed another cup of coffee and kept my neck stuck in the work.
My cell phone ranged, it was lying faced down nearby only, vibrating, shit! she's calling me again! I don't want to be with her again, how should I explain her! But wait, is it really her call? or is it some random sales call? what if it's my manager again? what she wants now! Still vibrating! I picked it up before it got missed, unknown number. Oh god, it's really her. This time I am not going to listen to any of her stories.
I said hello, some guy on the other side, "Hi, Is this Mr Ishan?" I, a sigh of relief and an unusual sense curiosity both at the same time, said yes! "There's a parcel for you from Amazon, please receive it from the reception desk." But haven't ordered anything from Amazon or anywhere from a very long time. That's not mine I guess. I asked him to confirm whether it's mine or not. He told me that my name and contact number written on it! Strange and unconventional, I asked him to wait and I'll be there in 5 minutes. I got up from my place and kept my headphones around my neck, played that same song that I was listening to continuously for two days in repeat mode. It's "The Scientist by Coldplay." Still wondering what's there in that package and who could have possibly sent it? Without any good guess, I reached out to the reception and asked about the same.
It gets weirder now, it was a medium size package with almost no weight. Oh, it's already a not-so-good-day, and now this too! I gently opened it up and the phone rang again. This time I didn't even had any thought who's it is going to be, and without looking at the phone, I just picked it up. "You got that Ishan?" And now I had to look at the number, another unknown number, but I do recognise the voice, "Yes, I got it Kirti, but what it is?" She said, "Shut up! Open it and just do what's written!" "Fine." I said and tore down the covering. I was a cushion with a cover in one packet and inner fillings in another. And unexpectedly for the very first time on that same-routined messed and hollow day, I smiled! Escaping all the sadness, gloominess and despondency for that particular moment, I just stood there holding that beautiful piece of unmassed little happiness, I kept smiling. She called again, was that a tear in my eye? don't know, I haven't cried in a long time, but my heart was pumping blood much faster now, as if it wants me to live a moment more, like the caption of an already ruined and going-to-sink ship saw one little hope of not getting drown that night of the furious storm, encouraging his crew to sail the ship out of this misery, my heart was pumping loud and more. That little moment gave me happiness, I picked her call. "Ishan, did you like it?" I smiled more, "Oh yes I do!" And this time my voice did change like it was right my soul has said those words. "Read it for me Ishan", she said, I replied, "All I need for a perfect day is your Smile! :)" and I stood smiling, and I saw hope.
Reached office, sitting at my desk, noticing everybody but ignoring every one of them. Got an e-mail, subject in the capital - "MEETING IN 5!!!" already telling me that I was screwed! Behind that green door in the corner of the hallway, could see my manager preparing herself to rain over us all, or just me, I wasn't sure. Let's take a walk and think of some new excuse that I haven't made yet. nothing good I could think of.
I opened the door and let a part of myself enter the room. I stood outside, waiting for the other half to come out soon. He came out after a long, loud and single-voiced discussion. I could feel something unpleasant and unkind words been told to him so I hugged him tight and fused into him to complete him fully. And now I also know what all happened in there.
I came back to my desk, started doing "The Job Assigned to Me!" What a dislikable day, that's why I never wanted to wake up. Grabbed another cup of coffee and kept my neck stuck in the work.
My cell phone ranged, it was lying faced down nearby only, vibrating, shit! she's calling me again! I don't want to be with her again, how should I explain her! But wait, is it really her call? or is it some random sales call? what if it's my manager again? what she wants now! Still vibrating! I picked it up before it got missed, unknown number. Oh god, it's really her. This time I am not going to listen to any of her stories.
I said hello, some guy on the other side, "Hi, Is this Mr Ishan?" I, a sigh of relief and an unusual sense curiosity both at the same time, said yes! "There's a parcel for you from Amazon, please receive it from the reception desk." But haven't ordered anything from Amazon or anywhere from a very long time. That's not mine I guess. I asked him to confirm whether it's mine or not. He told me that my name and contact number written on it! Strange and unconventional, I asked him to wait and I'll be there in 5 minutes. I got up from my place and kept my headphones around my neck, played that same song that I was listening to continuously for two days in repeat mode. It's "The Scientist by Coldplay." Still wondering what's there in that package and who could have possibly sent it? Without any good guess, I reached out to the reception and asked about the same.
It gets weirder now, it was a medium size package with almost no weight. Oh, it's already a not-so-good-day, and now this too! I gently opened it up and the phone rang again. This time I didn't even had any thought who's it is going to be, and without looking at the phone, I just picked it up. "You got that Ishan?" And now I had to look at the number, another unknown number, but I do recognise the voice, "Yes, I got it Kirti, but what it is?" She said, "Shut up! Open it and just do what's written!" "Fine." I said and tore down the covering. I was a cushion with a cover in one packet and inner fillings in another. And unexpectedly for the very first time on that same-routined messed and hollow day, I smiled! Escaping all the sadness, gloominess and despondency for that particular moment, I just stood there holding that beautiful piece of unmassed little happiness, I kept smiling. She called again, was that a tear in my eye? don't know, I haven't cried in a long time, but my heart was pumping blood much faster now, as if it wants me to live a moment more, like the caption of an already ruined and going-to-sink ship saw one little hope of not getting drown that night of the furious storm, encouraging his crew to sail the ship out of this misery, my heart was pumping loud and more. That little moment gave me happiness, I picked her call. "Ishan, did you like it?" I smiled more, "Oh yes I do!" And this time my voice did change like it was right my soul has said those words. "Read it for me Ishan", she said, I replied, "All I need for a perfect day is your Smile! :)" and I stood smiling, and I saw hope.
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| A beautiful piece of unmassed little happiness (: |
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